Guilty Pleasure

I know that soon I’ll find us together on romantic nights.
I know that my own mind is full of insects and parasites.
I swear I’m not maligned; I always have nobility in my sights.
If I cared for you just a bit, I would surely never show.
But to myself I must admit that it’s you that I will owe,
Because I lack the benefit of being someone that you could know.
When I cannot reciprocate the stillness that you’ll provide
The sunshine and earthquakes I create will nearly always coincide
And any castle that we create is just another victim of the tide.
I must be so very self-serving to knowingly hurt you and not refrain.
I am constantly observing myself apologize to you in my brain.
Therefore I’m most undeserving of what we both wish to obtain.