At the strike of feared midnight
All my sorrows come to light
And now it doesn’t feel right
The long ride home intimidates
The void you will leave suffocates
Scrounge some hope, salvation waits
Don’t depart to the abyss
One last thing before dismiss
For all eternity, one goodnight kiss
So lol I think this is the first poem of yours that I've read. I think I read a few when you sent me some in an email, but that was a while ago.
ReplyDeleteFirst impression: like. Some of the rhymes are a little tiny cheesy, like the first three, but not gratingly bad. The second two sets are good though, some nice variety.
I would say it could use some periods, perhaps.
And I like the last three lines, it's the type of sentiment that appeals to me. lol.
~Caleb